


Continuing On

by emmabean517



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-01 03:14:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15133856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmabean517/pseuds/emmabean517
Summary: After finally regaining some of the family she had lost as a child, Aubree Tucker was finally beginning to feel whole again when her secret boyfriend and love of her life, Mike Dodds, had been shot and died from the injuries he sustained in the line of duty doing what he was best at, saving others. Three months ago, Aubree would have told you the hardest thing she had to do was watch the funeral of her boyfriend from a distance. Little did she know that her world was going to be rocked when she realized that the world would forever be left with a little piece of Mike no one would could have possibly dreamed of.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Law & Order:SVU, any of the characters from the show or anything that is reference from Season 17 of the show, even though I wish I did. This has been kicking around in my head for a while and I've finally had the courage to put pen to paper to write my first story ever. Later on the story will match the rating.

“Shit” I thought to myself. I stared back at the white sticks of varying brands littering the counter in the tiny room that was my bathroom. I was tempted to grab the last one because I was still struggling to believe the other six tests but decided against it.

          I sank to the ground next to my antique claw foot tub and pulled me knees to my chest. How could I not have known? I just assumed everything that was happening was the result of the grief I was experiencing after his death. Luckily, my weird cravings, bipolar-like mood swings and clockwork morning sickness did not go unnoticed by my best friend, Victoria. I can’t say that I am really surprised though. She knew instantly when her sister was pregnant both times, even before her sister realized it. Some people are just that perceptive I guess.

          I slowly stood up off the ground when my back began to hurt from being pressed against the hard surface of the tub. I started to make my way to the couch in my living room and sat in front of the stop where I kept my most prized possession. A single picture of him and me in a wooden frame, taken in Battery Park, four months ago. It was taken by Victoria a month before he died and left me all alone. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was one of his rare days off and since it was so nice out we decided to enjoy a little picnic in the park. It had been a long, harsh winter and I was really looking forward to soaking up some much needed vitamin D. Victoria joined us on our fun afternoon out. She snapped that picture while we weren’t looking. It was one of the many moments that day we were solely focused on just each other. I may have already been pregnant at that point and never knew it. I began to feel something wet on my face and realized that I had begun crying. I couldn’t stop myself. It seems that is the only thing I am really able to do these days.

          I wasn’t at the hospital with him when he passed away. I couldn’t attend his funeral because our parents didn’t even know we were even seeing each other. Sure, I knew of him from various NYPD picnics and family functions, but we were by no means of the definition close and only reconnected two years ago. Even if our parents knew that we had reconnected, I’m not sure they would have been very happy about it. Not only was there a 13 year age difference between us, but both of our fathers had some serious clout with the NYPD. His father was the Deputy Chief of Detectives for SVU across the five boroughs. My father has spent the majority of his career going after “dirty” cops, which in turn has made him one of the most feared and hated men within the NYPD. Neither man liked each other and I’m sure both tried to get rid of the other every now and then, which only furthered tension between the two.

          I’m brought back from my thoughts when my phone begins to beep obnoxiously. Without even looking at it, I know that it is Victoria. She has to be on edge waiting for me to tell her the results since she was the one who brought over all of the tests last night. I begin to cry even harder while hugging one of my throw pillows to my chest. How am I going to tell Victoria, let alone anyone else about this? The fear of what will happen when everyone finds out completely terrifies me but I know that can’t avoid the truth forever. At some point everyone is going to know that I, Aubree Regan Tucker, only child of IAB Captain Ed Tucker, am pregnant with Sergeant Michael Dodds, fallen son of Deputy Chief William Dodds, child.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Law & Order: SVU and any of the characters other than the original ones that I have created. Update in the next couple of days after the holiday.

_Five Years Ago…_

My dad never used to be considered one of the most hated men in the NYPD. When I was a young child, my dad actually spent most of his career flying under the radar of most of the higher ups in the department. When I was three, my dad was promoted from beat cop to a negotiator in the NYPD’s Hostage Negotiation team. It is normally very difficult to rise to that level within the unit, especially as an “outsider” so to speak, but the brass must have seen something in my dad when he talked a crazed group of gang bangers down from shooting up a small bodega in Washington Heights he just happened to be grabbing his lunch at that day. One of my favorite all time pictures of him and I came from his promotion ceremony. He was holding me and even at that young age I couldn’t stop smiling at him instead of the camera. We were on top of the world at the moment and it felt like nothing could bring us down.  


I guess moments like that are really too good to be true. By the time I had turned 5 my parents had begun divorce proceedings. It took me by surprise and I didn’t really even understand because I don’t recall ever seeing my parents really fight. I guess the training schedule they had created for my father coupled with his long and odd hours at the station put a huge strain on my parents’ relationship. It was such a big strain that my mother begin to look for attention elsewhere. That was how she met my now stepfather, Greg Richemond. He was an investment banker on Wall Street. I guess he really swept my mother off her feet because two months after the divorce was finalized, my mom and Greg got married. Not long after, my mom became pregnant with my sister, Summer, and Greg accepted a position heading his firms new Chicago office. We moved out to Chicago a month after my 6th birthday.  


I wasn’t thrilled about the move to Chicago. To be perfectly honest, I loved New York and didn’t want to leave my dad. Unfortunately, the system doesn’t allow young children to decide which parent they want to live with. Due to the irregular hours my dad worked being a hostage negotiator, my mom was awarded full custody of me. It also didn’t help that my mom dragged my father through the mud, citing that he had a horrible temper and she was fearful that he would take it out on me. I’m not really sure I ever believed that my father would ever be capable of doing that. All I really remember about that time was my Grandma Caroline crying after my father called to tell her the divorce and custody agreements had been finalized.  


Initially, the move to Chicago wasn’t all that bad. The day we left, my father promised that he would call and write as well as visit as much as he possibly could. It sounded great at the time, but I quickly came to realize that it was all just talk. He missed every single holiday the first year we lived out there and by the time my 7th birthday rolled around, I had almost lost all hope that he even remembered me. I remember crying myself to sleep that night. My mother explained to me that he never really cared about me and that her wining custody was the best thing for him. He could go back to how he lived his life before either of us. It would be years before I was told anything that proved that statement to be untrue.  


Summer was born roughly six months after we arrived in Chicago. My life changed drastically after that and not for the better. Summer became the apple of my mother’s eye and I was cast to the side. Sure, my mom and Greg always made sure that I had food and decent clothing but that was about it when it came to extent of them paying attention to my well-being. I learned very early on that if I wanted something, it wasn’t worth asking for it because it would always go to Summer. I now know that my mom resented me because while I looked mostly like her, I had my father’s eyes and his personality. I will say it still doesn’t lessen the pain associated with all that neglect but it does help everything that happened make sense.  


It certainly was rough growing up in that house, which was why I made it my personal mission to make sure I could leave town once I graduated high school. It didn’t matter though because I was never going to be good as Summer, even though she was younger. From a very young age, I was in every accelerated class that I could possibly take. That didn’t matter though because Summer was viewed as being smarter since she was maintaining an A average in lower level classes while being the captain of every cheerleading squad she was a part of. Summer being selected for an elite stunting camp overshadowed my near perfect SAT scores. The day that stung the most was the day that I received the letter informing me of my acceptance and full ride to Columbia. Summer had not only been selected to be a member of the US Jr. Coed cheerleading team, but she had been named one of the team captains. That was the first time in a very long time that I had wished my father hadn’t forgotten and abandoned me.  


After what felt like centuries, graduation day had finally come. I hoped that being named Valedictorian would have been enough for my family to show up to the ceremony. I should have known that it wasn’t. Summer had some cheerleading camp in Kentucky that she had been accepted to and my mom was driving her down there while Greg was attending some conference at the corporate offices in New York. Even my own father didn’t attend. I knew he wouldn’t since he had been absent from my life over the last 13 years, but part of me hoped that as I walked to the podium to deliver my speech I would look into the audience and see him sitting there with tears in his eyes. That he would be there to see the strong, intelligent, independent woman that I had become in his absence and realize the mistake he had made. I really wanted to show him that I had turned out just fine without him. I should have known better thought because all I saw when I reached the podium was a sea of extremely proud parents, none of whom belonged to me. It took everything I had in me not to cry as I made my remarks to the crowd.  


Once the ceremony had ended, I hailed a taxi and headed back home. I was wildly unpopular because I was always working or studying so that saved me from standing in countless photos like my classmates were taking at the moment. I immediately went up to my room and changed into a pair of yoga pants and a cotton tank top. I began to survey my room as I was tying my long, wavy auburn hair on top of my head in a messy bun. Most of my belongings had already been packed into boxes, not that I really had much to pack besides my clothes and linens. I had a few valuables left to pack, including the picture of me and my father on the day of his promotion as well as one of us with my Grandma Caroline on my 5th birthday. That was the last time I was truly happy, but there was no time to really dwell on that now.  


I had decided a couple of weeks ago that in order to never have to come back to this house and Chicago again I needed to get a jump start on earning as much money as I could so that I could stay in New York over all of the breaks. I may have received a full ride but studio apartments still weren’t cheap. I also determined that I wanted to tackle both pre-med and pre-law degree paths, so I needed to get a head start on all of the coursework so it didn’t take me longer to get to graduate school when the time came. I had already found a rent-stabilized studio apartment close to campus and had enough money saved up that I could get by for roughly two months if I couldn’t find work right away. I knew very early on in high school that neither my parents or Greg would support me financially once I turned 18 so I had worked three jobs since I was 15 and saved everything I could. I also knew that there were funds in my name that had been put aside as a kind of college fund for me by my parents before the divorce. I am almost certain that nothing went into that account since the divorce was finalized, but assuming that it had collected interest over the last 14 years, I knew I had a couple thousand in emergency funds should something drastic happen to me while in school.  


I looked around my room one more time to make sure I had packed everything before I crawled into what was left of my bed. I had dismantled it in preparation for the move. Tomorrow I would be picking up a small moving truck and beginning my journey to my new life in New York. The last thought I had before I settled into a deep slumber was how I was going to manage to avoid my father once we were living in the same city.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating. I had a slight brain freeze and then was away for the weekend. Once again, I don't own Law & Order:SVU and any of the characters other than the ones I've created for this story. I also don't own any pieces of backstory that may appear in this chapter. I also apologize, I may have gotten slightly carried away with this chapter.

Chapter 2  
Present Day…

I was pulled away from my thoughts by my phone ringing. I took a deep breath in preparation of the conversation I was nowhere near prepared to have. 

“Look, I know you want an answer Victoria, but could I please just have a few more moments to digest everything?” I said in a slightly annoyed tone. 

I realized the mistake I had made before my mouth could catch up to my brain but it was too late. “Wait, digest? OH MY GOD! MY BEST FRIEND IS HAVING A BABY!” Victoria kept babbling on, unable to contain her excitement but I had already tuned her out. Up until that point this whole things seemed like a dream I would wake up from at any time. Hearing her excitement made this real. Suddenly, it felt like a brick had landed in the pit of my stomach. I took a very shaky breath and tried to speak but words failed me. I was pregnant. I was pregnant with my deceased boyfriend’s baby and I was all alone. It wasn’t until I heard Victoria trying to comfort me over the phone that I realized I had started sobbing. 

“I can’t do this Vi” I said as a finally found my voice. “I can’t have this baby without him.” 

“Okay deep breaths Aubree. Yes you most certainly can do this. You are the strongest, smartest, most selfless person I know. If anyone could figure out how to do this, it’s you.” 

“How? I didn’t even know I was pregnant when he died. Our fathers’ can’t stand each other. They had no idea we were even friends, let alone seeing each other. Oh God, my dad is going to kill me when he finds out.” 

“Ok look, I know it won’t be easy but come on, how bad can it be? Your dad has literally been doing everything he can to make up for the lost tie since he found out you came back to New York. He is too afraid of losing you again.” 

Victoria did have a point. Ever since I had run into my father and we got over the initial shock of the situation, he was really working to make up for everything that I had endured with my mom in Chicago. I think it is some sort of guilt for not trying harder when he didn’t hear from me. Still, I’m not sure dropping my pregnancy on him during our Sunday brunch anytime soon was such a good idea either. 

“Vi, even if that is true, I’m pretty sure a pregnancy may tip him over the edge from doting dad to scary, angry dad.” 

“Ok, well what about Olivia? She may not be family yet but it may be a good idea to have her in your corner when you do decide to tell your father.” Victoria may have a point. If I wanted to tell my father and make it out alive, I was going toned all the help I could get. 

I actually met Olivia about a year ago, a couple of months after my father started dating her. It wasn’t even supposed to happen that way. They had been discussing the best time for a “family” dinner when I walked up to take their order. Actually, I would have gone unnoticed if my father hadn’t dropped his bourbon. To be honest though, I wasn’t really supposed to be there. You see, I had a final during my regular shift so I was making up the hours at our sister restaurant. 

The whole situation made me think that my dad was embarrassed about me and his previous marriage to the casual observer. The reality was he was very concerned about how I would react to a motherly figure in my life, especially with what he knew about the treatment I had received for so many years from my mother. In the beginning, he was right to be scared. I had a very hard time believing that the kind of care and compassion that Olivia showed me was genuine and could be possible by an older female that wasn’t my grandmother. We did have some pretty nasty fights the first couple of months after we met each other. I had built up a wall when I escaped my mother. I was scared that if I let Olivia in, I would be left with no choice to lose my dad and the life I was working towards when everything went south. 

Everything really came to a head about two months after our initial meeting. I had received a text from my dad asking me to meet him from dinner at this hole in the wall restaurant we loved in the East Village. I quickly accepted because I knew eventually we would have to discuss this. I spent that afternoon in the library I worked at before taking the subway to the restaurant. I walked into the restaurant and walked over to our usual table in the back and sat down. I was early so I pulled out my phone to catch up on some daily news. 

Roughly ten minutes after I had arrived I heard the creaking of the bench across from me. “Gee, took you long enough” I joked as I looked up to great my dad. My jaw hit the floor as I noticed it was not my dad sitting across from me, but Olivia Benson. 

“I can’t do this” I said as I grabbed my purse and began to leave. 

“Wait” Olivia said as she grabbed my hand. I debated about just ignoring her and walking out anyway but something in the way she was looking at me compelled me to stay. I sat back down in my seat. I would hear her out, but I was certainly not going to make it easy for her. 

“Look Aubree, I know we got off to a rough start.” I scoffed under my breath. If that wasn’t the understatement of the year. I kept staring at Olivia, hoping she would get that I wasn’t in the mood for this and leave. Instead, she pulled a fast one on me. 

“Your dad told me everything you went through with your mom.” I was floored! How could he do this to me? Before I could yell at Olivia she continued. “I understand your fear of another female, motherly figure.” 

“What could you possibly know about my fears?” I spat. I was thoroughly surprised by the tone of my voice in that moment. I am normally a very cool and rational person, but I was having a hard time understanding why my father had imparted all of this information to someone I had never met before. My tone must not have scared her because she continued. “Well you see, my mother didn’t like me very much when I was growing up either. It probably had something to do with me looking too much like her rapist.” 

this point, I seriously couldn’t believe my jaw still had the ability to hit the ground during the course of one conversation. “What?” I questioned. 

“My mom was raped while she was in college and as a result, she became pregnant with me. Nothing I ever did was good enough in her eyes. I was just a constant reminder of the worst night of her life.” 

I couldn’t breathe. I know my mother didn’t like me and when she looked at me she probably was reminded of the time she spent with my father, which I have come to believe she regretted immensely. As much as all of that hurt me, I couldn’t fathom the emotions one experiences when you are a constant reminder of an event that one party didn’t have any say about their participation in. 

“How did you survive that?” I asked in a meek voice, my curiosity getting the better of me. 

“It wasn’t easy. There were some periods of time that I sort of rebelled against my mother due to her treatment of me. I got engaged when I was sixteen to one of her students. She put an end to that real quick. Once I got to college it was smooth sailing. I only had to see her in the summer. I spent most of the year with my sorority sisters, having the time of the life. After college, I joined the academy and lived under my mother’s roof again.” 

“Did you two ever make up? I mean, are you guys on better terms now?” 

Olivia looked at the table in front of her for a moment before looking back at me. “Things got better when she didn’t have to see me on a daily basis anymore and I like to think that we had established an amicable relationship.” 

“Had?” I questioned. 

“Yes, had. You see no matter how many years had passed, my mother was never fully able to get over her rape, mostly due to the fact that her rapist was never found and the police never took her case seriously. To cope with all of that, my mom drank. Heavily. I got a call one day while I was on the job, one of my earlier days at SVU. My mother had left a bar around 2 in the afternoon and attempted to take the subway home. She stumbled down the stairs and died instantly.” 

I couldn’t speak. It really made me think. I know my mom made my life a living hell but on some level I wanted to clear the air at some point in the future before something terrible happened. I just couldn’t imagine never being able to have the chance to do that. I looked up at Olivia. “I don’t really know what to say.” 

“I wasn’t telling you so that I could gain sympathy points with you. The point of this whole story isn’t what happened to me and the relationship I couldn’t fully repair. It was the relationships that formed in the aftermath. I was always afraid that I was damaged because of how I was treated by someone who was supposed to love me unconditionally. It took me years to realize that wasn’t true. So many people, including your father, have shown me that everything I endured as a child and young adult was just a blip on the radar of my life. All I had to do was open my eyes and realize that there were still good, decent people in this world.” 

After that day, it was smooth sailing for Olivia and I. We stayed for a couple more hours just talking and getting to know one another. We began to make those dinners a weekly event. I began to see exactly what she was talking about and along the way I discovered something that had been missing in my life while I was growing up: the feeling associated with someone who believed in you unconditionally, someone who wanted you to succeed in anything you attempted in life. 

“Aubree?” I heard Victoria ask on the other end. 

“You’re right Vi. If I want to make this easier on my dad, I’m going to need her help. I’ll talk to you later.” I disconnected the call and began to get dressed. I came back into my living room and looked at my watch. If I was able to time this right, I would be able to catch Olivia for lunch before she ordered food to her office. I quickly threw my jacket on and grabbed my purse, keys and phone. I took one final look at my apartment before I locked up and left. There was no time for fear. If I was going to do this, it was now or never.


End file.
